i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
