I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
