oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
