I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
