Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
