Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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