Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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