Can Purell be used as lube?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I will pee on everything he values.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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