dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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