"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
