woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sorry about my life...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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