Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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