I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
