you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
