Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
