Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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