Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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