Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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