plz talk dirty to me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
