I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
