Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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