the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
