Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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