I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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