I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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