Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
