This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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