"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
