wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
