I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
