they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
