I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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