remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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