So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
