no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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