it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
