so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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