Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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