I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
