there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You can't just leave with hair like that
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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