Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's never too late to be topless.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
