I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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