Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
