Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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