Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Randomize
