And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
