If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Are we still banned from the library?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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