I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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