dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
