Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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