i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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